Friday, October 26, 2012

Why am I doing this???


I'm not gonna lie.  2 days out from MCM and I am consumed with self-doubt.  I haven't run a long run in 3 weeks and I'm questioning myself and doubting whether I have done enough training.  Why am I doing this?  Why do I think I have trained enough to finish this?  How will I ever get through 26 miles?  These are the little voices going through my head today.

Tonight we're going to the expo and I hope it brings me back to a state of being focused and excited.   I've always had a competitive spirit and I have never signed up for a race and not loved it.  (well that's a lie....there was a 10K on Thanksgiving morning in 2009 that was 6 miles of hills and I went out wayyyyy too fast) but besides that I have always been on Cloud 9 after races.   I need to keep telling myself that I GOT THIS.   However right now, I feel like I'm going into something that is totally out of my comfort zone.  What if my knee starts hurting at mile 6 and I need to stop?  What if I don't finish?  What if I hit the runner's wall?  What if my nerves get the best of me and upset my stomach so much that I can't run?  Do you see how I am making myself crazy?

Right now I'm nervous and fearful.  I'll get through it.  I just need to refocus and remember why I am doing this.  I'm looking forward to being excited again and really hoping tonight's expo visit helps!

4 comments:

  1. From my experience, all of those thoughts are normal. You're gonna rock this thing! I'm so excited to read about how it goes! Good luck!

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    1. Thanks Matt. AHHHH. seriously though, your blog really helped me. I look forward to sharing my experience on here post-Sunday!

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  2. I was so nervous my first marathon and then even my third. Every time wondering if I could do it. Jog 2-3 miles easy tomorrow it will take the nerves out a little. And remember, all you have to do is get to the starting line. The rest will be what it will be. It's not like you can train any more or get in any worse shape now. Just show up for a long run, take pics, eat gummy bears! Rock that marathon face!

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